I Need Friends

I’m so sick of having no one I can talk to. Obviously I have Ty, and I love talking to him more than anyone else in the world, but it’s not the same. I don’t have anyone I can just call up to hang out with. One of my favorite things to do used to be to just drive around with friends, talking, maybe smoking, maybe causing mischief but mostly just enjoying each other’s company. I miss that so much.

The one person in my life I really feel like I could be friends with is Ty’s brother, Jake. He’s one of the very few people that I feel I can be myself around and we have a ridiculous amount of things in common. But I feel like that would make both Ty and Jake’s wife sort of uncomfortable if we suddenly just started hanging out without them. It’s a shame.

Other than Ty, Jake and my sister, I can’t think of a single person in this world whose company I actually enjoy, 100%. How depressing.

I’m so pathetic.

A Letter To Me

Before you eat that snack, think. Think about the body you want. Think about how good it would feel to weigh 130 pounds, or even less. Think about how many chemicals are actually in that “food”. How unhealthy it is for you. Think about the benefits of good nutrition and exercise. Imagine your anxiety, your depression just melting away. Think about how you’ll really feel if you eat that junk or skip that work out. Think about what a stronger person you will be if you resist temptation. Flex your will power muscle. It’s been inactive for far too long.

Remember when you weighed 150? Imagine weighing less than that. Being smaller. How amazing would that feel? Imagine Ty being able to carry you. Imagine Kalia really looking up to you. Don’t you want to be a role model for her? For your future children? Don’t you want to show everyone that you can do it, that you actually have some self-control?

Don’t be the gross fatty that everyone judges. Don’t be the one people avoid because they think you must smell. Be the object of envy, not of disgust. And imagine how much easier it would be to run, to breathe, to exist. You want that. So make it happen. There are no excuses.

I need to start eating better

Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad. Sugar is bad.  Sugar is bad!!

Sorry, just needed to write it a few dozen times. Maybe it’ll sink in now.